You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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