U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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