I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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