okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
