I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize