We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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