he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
