Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
