I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize