one might say we're banned from that church
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
