in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize