i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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