i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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