just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
