she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
