please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
