No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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