it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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