new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize
