I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize