Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
