No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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