white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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