your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
