you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you win again, gameday.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
