i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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