normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
