If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
bring money and cleavage
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
