He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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