i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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