Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
