am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
