I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
