I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
