Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
