i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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