I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
