About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
