I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
