At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
