i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
