when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
