I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
