After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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