Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
