So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
