idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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