I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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