I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize