On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
