not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
