Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
