Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
