Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
