3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
