i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
