So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize