no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
