Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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