my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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