This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm jealous of your bromance
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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