I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
