the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
