last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
