I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
