Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize