I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
